so, uh, when this page describes my hometown as a "failed black squirrel town," i can only laugh and think that it's probably the best description i've ever heard.

yay, matty started a web comic.

i watched SUMO for an hour today. as i told matty, i like sumo because i always want the wrestlers to bite the shit out of each other. also, bitchslapping is rad.

hey man, if you don't like the color of it, then just dye it to another.

it grows back!

i can give you some sick hair-dyeing tips.

and GET A COMMENT SYSTEM FOR YOUR BLOG ALREADY. yo.

(rackin frackin blogger judo jacked everything all up beotch. rowr!)

liz_butler2000 (08:14:42 AM): well why are you up so early slappy
kaapusan (08:15:07 AM): workin
kaapusan (08:15:10 AM): in a coalmine
liz_butler2000 (08:15:19 AM): do you have black lung disease yet
liz_butler2000 (08:15:25 AM): because you could probably sue
kaapusan (08:16:18 AM): no but give it a few more months
liz_butler2000 (08:16:23 AM): ok
kaapusan (08:16:24 AM): then, i'll be SO in the money
liz_butler2000 (08:16:28 AM): don't think that i'll forget!
liz_butler2000 (08:16:29 AM): ehehe
kaapusan (08:16:30 AM): until they find this chat transcript
liz_butler2000 (08:16:34 AM): damn
liz_butler2000 (08:16:41 AM): *shakes her fist to the heavens
kaapusan (08:17:02 AM): and sam waterston tries to prosecute, and wins acclaim, but loses the case
kaapusan (08:17:11 AM): and then at the end of the episode he says something like
liz_butler2000 (08:17:15 AM): and then marries me at the end woohoo
kaapusan (08:17:40 AM): "even if a man commits suicide, is the person who gives him the gun responsible" or something
liz_butler2000 (08:17:57 AM): true dat
kaapusan (08:17:58 AM): and then it fades to black
kaapusan (08:18:02 AM): oh wait then it fades up
liz_butler2000 (08:18:05 AM): but it would be the highest rated episode of the season
liz_butler2000 (08:18:06 AM): ahaha
kaapusan (08:18:10 AM): AND HE HAS WILD BRUTAL SEX WITH LIZ
kaapusan (08:18:13 AM): then it fades to black
liz_butler2000 (08:18:19 AM): nice
liz_butler2000 (08:18:23 AM): yeah i like that episode

if your lips are chapped, don't panic. walk calmly to the nearest available source of lip balm, and apply liberally.

his heart is a secret i don't get to keep.

so i was checking the perfect kiss, and i accidentally typed theperfectloss.org

which is so close, you know? isn't it?

and moz was talking about mods, albeit different ones. weird!

well, since you asked, the mods (in burque at least) rode scooters (and not those razor scooters. like vespas) listened almost exclusively to music like pulp and uh... went here on thursday nights. i mean, i went there too, but most of the kids on thursday were the britpoppers.

the three step plan for getting moot drunk:

1) Beer is not always for beginners. While you may think that, with a lower alcohol content, beer would be the perfect drink for someone inexperienced in the ways of alcohol love, the bitter taste often turns many young people away from alcohol forever! this i cannot bear!

2) bars aren't always the best place, especially if you don't know if you're going to act like an ass or not.

3) maybe alcoholic lemonade? alcopops, like the mods call them? i think we're on to something, here!

oh, and, to answer the mixcd debate? this time, at least, it's not to analyze.

i think.

*sigh*

liz_butler2000: "and then, after the movie, we called the police"
liz_butler2000: "about that guy who hit my car"
kaapusan: no we didn't
kaapusan: what guy
liz_butler2000: ehehe i rule
kaapusan: "u" sux

took a test today, and cratered it like no other.

question: something something lewis and clark something.

answer: when lewis and clark traveled around the united states, looking for gold and diamonds, they took sacagawea with them. she was a native american, and it's a little known fact that the model from the sacagawea dollar came from new mexico. also, it's gold colored.

speaking of native americans, i would like you to know that i am (at least in part) one. therefore i've been taking offense at your constant references to "indians." my people aren't happy, doctor. i'd also like you to remember that there hasn't been a lawsuit here against the college in a good long while. you gets it, slappy? now go grade this test, and be a man.*

*actual answer: the lyrics to weezer's buddy holly. i had to write *something*

the essential mixcd debate: to analyze, or not to analyze?

i think i might drive myself mad.

ok, back to our regularly scheduled inanity. my finger smells like mustard. normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but i don't eat mustard. i hate it, and i can confidently say i haven't been near mustard in weeks.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!

i wanted to watch the meteor shower tonight, but more importantly i wanted to watch it with you. i don't know where you are and i don't know who you're with. (and it makes it easier to say these things when i know you aren't reading.) it's cloudy here, and i won't get to see any shooting stars at all.

thank you for your letter. i'm sorry i threw such a fit last week. and i'm sorry i think i want more than you do. mostly i'm sorry because i'm too scared to say anything to you at all.

i'll watch a movie we both love, tonight, and maybe i'll dream of you.

sirs, did i ever tell you what that new enrique iglesias song hero is about?

lyrics:
(Let me be your hero)
Would you dance if asked you to dance
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
would you save my soul
tonight
Would you tremble if I touched your lips
Would you laugh
oh please tell me this
Now would you die for the one you love
Hold me in your arms tonight
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Would you swear that you'll
always be mine
Would you lie
would you remember
My angel be have I lost my mind
I don't care you're here tonghit
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Ohhh I just wanna hold you, I just
wanna hold you, oh yeah
My angel be have I lost my mind
I don't care your here tonight
I can be your hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
(Oh yeah)
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
I can be uour hero
I can kiss away the pain
And I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
You can take my breath away
I can be your hero

IT'S ABOUT ENRIQUE'S FAVORITE MARIONETTE PUPPET!

think about it.

bored BORED bored BOREDbored. i feel like that old guy on sealab 2020 last night. except i'm so not cool enough to start my own howard stern-esque radio show.

i might watch office space, though. i know you're jealous, you fucker.

so many people have said that they want to do some weird things to osama bin laden, to get him back. well, i think i have the best plan yet. someone needs to dash him in the face with acid, but not enough to kill him. his face will be disfigured on one half. later, he can live in an opera house and fall in love with one of the singers. he could even have an underground maze of corridors, to make it seem more mysterious. there might even be a mask.

i can't believe no one's thought of this yet!

has anyone else noticed that ludacris is batshit insane? i thought so.

i think if someone wanted their pet name for me to be turkey, that might be okay.

wait, but they can't call me turkey jerky. that phrase is mean on so many levels.

i think my plan needs more work.

kaapusan: PS... i watched MOESHA last night
liz_butler2000: AHAHA
liz_butler2000: you lose

ps, if you read this and your name is danny and you're thinking "why, is she talking about me??!?!?" then i'm probably not. unless you're danny from berkeley.

wait, i think the real question here is: where the hell is danny? WHERE IS HE? danny, if you're out there, email me, foo.

time to funk this shit up, mp3 playlist style!
this is what i listen to, when i'm crying my saline tears.

pApAs fritAs - Live by the Water
The Ataris - I Remember You
Self - Glued to the Girl
Flickerstick - Beautiful
gary allan - what would willie do
John Williams - Track 15
John Williams - Track 18
Unknown - Track 1
Jimmy Eat World - For Me This Is Heaven
Movie Quote - office space - Each day is the
Pearl Jam - Elderly Woman (acoustic)
Smiths - Frankly, Mr. Shankly
Brak - Beef Log vs Cheese Log
The Ataris - The Last Song I Will Ever Write About a Girl
Ben Folds - Zak and Sara
The Cardigans - Junk Of The Heart
Ben Folds Five - Brick
X-Files/ST - Foo Fighters - Walking After You
(portishead) only you
(semisonic)-Singing In My Sleep
The Cars - My Best Friend's Girl
Tori Amos - Famous Blue Raincoat
01 - Frente - Labour of Love
The Promise Ring - Happiness Is All The Rage
Hot Water Music - Our Own Way
04 - Grace
MxPx - Move To Bremerton
Rufus Wainwright - Instan Pleasure
10-deftones-change (in the house of flies)-ego
The Promise Ring - All Of My Everythings
Wyclef Jean - Perfect Gentleman
1Smiths - Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want
6. No One Must Find You Here
The Clash - Rock the Casbah
American Hi-Fi - Flavor Of The Week
Ani DiFranco - Wishin' and Hopin'
Bandits Soundtrack - Another Sad Song
Bandits - Catch Me (Short)
Unknown Artist - Bangles - Eternal Flame.mp3
Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice
Beatles - Let It Be
Beatles - Get Back
The Beatles - Hey Jude
Beatles - And I Love Her
beatles-why don't we
Beatles - Eleanor Rigby
Unknown Artist - juvenile & lil wayne - bling b
Big Punisher f. Joe - Still Not A Player
Biz Markie - Spring Again
Blink 182 - Man Overboard (official cd version)
Bob Dylan - Brown Eyed Girl
Bob Dylan - Hurricane
Bonnie Raitt - Not the Only One
Bonnie Raitt - I Can't Make You Love Me
Bruce Springsteen - I'm on fire
Bruce Springsteen - Hungry Heart
Bunnygrunt - Favorite Food
Cake - Frank Sinatra
Numan, Gary - Cars
Cash Money Millionaires - Project Bitch
Strokin - Clarence Carter
ColdPlay - Such A Rush
Coldplay - Don't Panic
Coldplay - Trouble
Coldplay - Parachutes - 05 - Yellow
cure - friday i'm in love
www.homeofmusic.com - (daft punk) one more time [www homeofmusic com]
Tori Amos - Daniel (live)
David Gray - Babylon
Deftones - Change (In The House Of Flies)
DESTINY'S CHILD - 12 - Say My Name
Dido - Thank You
David Garza - Discoball World
DMX - Party Up In Here
Dre + Snoop - Nuthin But A G-Thang
Elliot Smith - Miss Misery
Unknown Artist - Enrique Iglesias - Sad Eyes
Extreme - More Than Words
Fatboy Slim vs Eminem- My Name is Fatboy Slim Shady
Flaming Lips - Waitin' For A Superman
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
Fleetwood Mac - Landslide (Live)
Fleetwood Mac - Dreams
Foundations, the - Build Me Up, Buttercup
Fountains of Wayne - Prom theme
Frank Sinatra - Luck be a Lady Tonight
Frente - Accidentally Kelly Street
Frente - Bizarre Love Triangle
Get Up Kids - Off the Wagon
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
Gucci Crew - Sally That Girl
Guns n Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
Ice Cube - Friday
Ice Cube - It Was a Good Day
Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity
James - Say Something
Jay-Z - Big Pimpin ft UGK
Jay Z - I Just Wanna Love U (Give It To Me) (LP Version)
Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah (Live)
Jeff Buckley - Lilac Wine (live)
Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye (demo)
Jimmy Eat World - Lucky Denver Mint (Acoustic)
Jimmy Eat World - Lucky Denver Mint
Jimmy Eat World - Crush
Jimmy Eat World - A Sunday
Jimmy Eat World - Table For Glasses
Jimmy Eat World - 12.23.95
Jimmy Eat World - Believe In What You Want
Jimmy Eat World - Thinking, That's All
Jimmy Eat World - Carbon Scoring
Jimmy Eat World - Digits (Demo)
Jimmy Eat World - Ramina
Jimmy Eat World - Ramina
Jimmy Eat World - Christmas Card
Jimmy Eat World - Spangle
Jimmy Eat World - What I Would Say To You Now
Jimmy Eat World - 77 Satellites
Jimmy Eat World - opener
Last Day Parade - Jessi
Led Zepplin - D'yer Mak'er
Lemonheads - If I Could Talk
Live - Turn My Head
Liz Phair {Vapors} - Turning Japanese
artist - Track 12
Ludacris - Southern Hospitality
Ludacris feat. Shawna - What's Your Fantasy
Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack
Mase - Lookin' At Me
Matthew Sweet - Evangeline
Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
MMW - Orbits
Milla Jovovich - Gentleman Who Fell
Moby - Moby f/Gwen Stefani - South Side (radio edit)
Modern English - I'll Stop The World (And Melt With You)
Concrete Blonde - Darkening Of The Light
Nick Drake - Pink Moon
Nina Persson & Nathan Larson - The bluest eyes in Texas
Our Lady Peace - Automatic Flower
Our Lady Peace - Superman Dead
Paul Simon - Graceland
Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes
Pras, Mya - Ghetto Superstar
Promise Ring - A Picture Postcard
Unknown Artist - queers- born to do dishes
Red House Painters - All Mixed Up
Various Artists - Love Sponge-Buju Banton
REM - Man On The Moon
R.E.M. - Moo river
Run Lola Run - Run Lola Run - Introduction
Sade - sade- by your side (advance co
Seiko Matsuda - Anata Ni Aitakute
Shaggy - It Wasn't Me
Shaggy - Angel
Shakespears Sister - Stay
Sheena Ringo - Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
Sheena Ringo - Suberidai
Simpsons - Homer pretending he is Mr. Burns
Unknown Artist - Unpossible
Sister Hazel - Champagne High
SMAP - Celery
Smashing Pumpkins - SmashingPumpkins-Disarm.mp3
Smashing Pumpkins - Cherry
Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonnaise [unplugged]
Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
smiths-girlfriend in a coma
South Park Mexican (SPM) - High So High
Sponge - Raining (Live)
artist - Track 01
Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride
Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime
Talking Heads - And She Was
Sabrina Paris - Look At Us
The Corrs - I Never Loved You Anyway
The Cure - Letters to Elise
THE PROMISE RING - THINGS JUST GETTING GOOD
Toad The Wet Sprocket - Fall Down (acoustic)
Y Kant Tori Read - Etienne Trilogy
Twang Twang Shock-A-Boom - always give your love away
U2 - With or Without You
VAST - Pretty When You Cry
Violent Femmes - Add It Up
Violent Femmes - Blister In The Sun
Weezer - No One Else (Acoustic
Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
Wu-Tang Clan - Gravel Pit

everyone hates me now.

so, you know, following matt's lead, i took a purity test. it was one of the short ones, and i got 55% pure. i've scored lower on the long ones. WOOHAA.

hehe.

matt need to get drunk, yo.

ha!

via moz via mefi via rogers.

shit shit shit. i was working on a query to them like, today. why do they have to kill everything i love? WHY?

via fresh hell.

everything i want to look at is getting hammered right now.

DAMN YOU INTERNET! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

mama cooked a breakfast with no hog.

best. song. ever.

dear sirs,

while you may insist on calling it "illness brought on by going on basically a four day bender while visiting albuquerque, especially since you spent most of your time a) in bars, b) traveling to bars, c) smoking cigarettes, and d) bathing in beer," i'm still calling it anthrax.

you should see what's coming out of my nose!

and sirs, i don't really care what we call it. just give me some antibiotics (cipro?) so i can smoke again without losing 12% of my lung mass to coughing. you can also give me codeine, if you really want to.

sirs, remember that time we tried to buy codeine in mexico? ha ha. that was a pretty crazy time.

love, elizabitch

ps, did you miss me? :)

i downloaded "the big payback" by james brown because fully half of the guys i've dated have claimed it among their favorite songs. now, while this entry was not meant to show the folly of statistics (ha!), i still wanted to know why they all thought it was so badass.

because it fuckin' ROCKS, that's why. i don't know karate, but i know ca-razy!

ps, dear ex-boyfriend, i'm sorry that i laughed that time you were talking about how that was your favorite part of the song, and then it came on the radio, and we went under a tunnel and that part got blitzed out. even though it WAS funny.

wow, this is the coolest thing. my uncle ran in the new york city marathon today, and the site had a real time tracking thing where you could check the progress of different runners. he finished 6892 out of more than 30,000 people, and this was his first marathon!

so rad. i was all "yo, if i wanted to go 26.2 miles that way, i'd just get in my car."

lazy!

matt has anthrax!

ANTHRAX I SAY!