mr hay is in denver wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


god love flight trackers woohoo

MR HAY IS COMING OVER IN TWO DAYS HOLY SHIT

ok, question. does anyone know any templates to make movable type more pretty?

i'm spoilt and i'll be moving from this here blog site as soon as i can figure that out

ok love you bye

a song for my baby:

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

The green eyes
Yeah the spotlight
Shines upon you

And how could
Anybody
Deny you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter
Now I met you

Honey you should know
That I could never go on
Without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes
You're the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who tried to deny you,
Must be out of their mind

Because I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter since I met you

And honey you should know,
That I could never go on
Without you

Green eyes, green eyes, ohohoh...

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand.


yay, six days whee

a sign i am maybe growing up: this morning, in the shower, i got a few strands of hair out of my head (because i am shedding like the animals!) and instead of spelling out 'you're next' on the shower wall for my sister to see, i just washed it down the drain.

i did think twice about it, though.

so here's an idea i had for a store: all tubas, all the time. and it would need to be open twenty four hours, so if you had an emergency you could run in and say 'i have a tuba audience with the queen in half an hour and there's a snake in my tuba and i don't think he's coming out' and you could borrow a tuba for your show for the queen.


also, i had an idea for a bumper sticker: 'i'd rather walk than drive a hatchback.'

if you had a hatchback, your version would say 'i'd rather walk than drive a hatchback, but sometimes people don't have much of a choice, now do they?' the print would be smaller on that one.

sign up for my mailing list, foolz!

so, the mr hay elizabitch writing week didn't go as planned.

i know you're sad

but!

exciting news!

if you sign up for my list, called elizabitch's funhouse of wacky fun*

email: then i will send something fun and amusing to you once a week, maybe more if you're nasty.

come on! everyone is doing it!

ok i love you bye

*working title

She woke up early, stretching catlike and lithe. Her name was Penny Fucking Dreadful (she added the 'fucking' in a fit of adolescent pique) and she had a long day of asskicking in front of her.

Some people were pirates. Some people were butt pirates. Some people were vigilante pirates, and that's where Penny made her living, exacting justice like Robin Fucking Hood. (It's a little known fact that Robin Hood added the 'fucking' in a fit of adolescent pique.)

She checked her email and found something intriguing:

(check back Wednesday for the next installment)

so, starting tomorrow (and minus tuesday and saturday, my days off for all y'all stalkers out there) i'm going to be participating in the great mr hay/elizabitch writing week! wheeee

so check here tomorrow afternoon, and check there too.

so today when i was driving to work (an hour early, because i'm the idiot who volunteers to come in at eight on a saturday) there were like, ten million hot air balloons over the interstate and i started thinking what if they were aliens, because hey, they were floating to the ground and who says aliens can't have ginormous floating heads? and then i saw a hot air balloon that really WAS decorated like a floating alien head and it was too much and i almost drove off the road. then a couple of minutes later i saw a balloon in a tree and i laughed.

ps, dear sirs, i know that next week i am going on a balloon ride and i would appreciate it if you wouldn't send any dirty karma my way even though i did laugh at the balloon in the tree. basically, i would like to not end up in a tree, or dead on the highway. in exchange, i will stop writing 'i have touched a stripper's butt' on dollar bills, even though when you think about it, unless it's a shiny brand spankin new dollar it probably HAS touched a stripper's butt and really, it's not good to think about what money has touched or you might get all ocd and germphobic like the guy who used to host double dare and sirs, i don't want that for you. ok, thanks.

love elizabitch

i think my pants smell funny